Have you ever asked for a sign only to get one and then not be sure it was really a sign so you ask for another? I’ve been guilty of thinking that I need three signs to really confirm the answer, but then there have been those times when the sign is so clear that I only need one.
Recently, I was thinking/praying/requesting for an answer on something that I would like to see come to pass. I’ve been working on what it means to surrender, yet I was praying for an outcome that I would like to see, knowing that the answer will be known either way in 4-6 months. At the end of what seemed like a one way dialogue I told myself I was going to let this go. That if it was meant to be, it will happen and if it isn’t, then I will still lead a happy content life.
I realized that all of this requesting and hoping for the outcome I want was probably pretty annoying, and not doing me any favors (especially if the answer is no). Kind of like when my kids repeatedly ask me for the same thing over and over:-) Furthermore, I thought – why do I keep requesting? This isn’t practicing surrender, faith or trust in the bigger plan. I realized that it is because I am afraid I won’t get what I want. I suppose my kids fear this same thing. The funny thing is, often times I know what they really want and I want to give it to them. I am either waiting for the right time (birthday, Christmas), or feel they are not ready for what they are requesting, or if it is totally out of the ballpark I will tell them and the requesting stops. I think if we are on track with our purpose we get signs and little encouragements along the way to stay the course. If we listen to the signs we also know if the answer is no. If my kids knew my intention was to honor their request they wouldn’t fear that it wasn’t coming, they would just go about their day knowing it isn’t a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. That is faith and trust. I needed to apply this to my own request.
So, I laid my hope on the altar and said, “I’ve done my part, and the rest is up to you (meaning God, universe, higher self, etc). You know my heart and my request, and I trust that whatever the outcome is, it is meant to be”. One prayer is enough if it is backed with faith and surrender. Instead of requesting, and fearing that what I want wouldn’t come to pass, I closed the dialogue knowing that I had been heard. I felt oddly confident that the outcome either way will be in my favor even though I don’t know what the outcome will be. My closing thoughts were – “…that as sure as the sun will rise I don’t need to think about this anymore. Thy will be done”. I asked for a sign to confirm that I was heard and that I was heading in the right direction and this is what I got…
I was actively looking for a sign all day to no avail. I actually forgot about it and then before I went to bed I was reading a lengthy article about a supplement I wanted to learn about. At the end of the article the phrase popped out at me, ‘as sure as the sun will rise’ followed by information regarding the shelf life/ expiration date of 4 months! How random to get a sign in this way and so exact! That’s how signs work. Sometimes when you least expect it they come in so so clear and obvious and you don’t need to look for them. They just show up when you least expect them and there is no question if it was meant for you. Other times they are more subtle. If you feel you are looking too hard or not sure if you received a sign (so you request another), my advice is to relax. If you’re meant to get a sign you will, you don’t need to look for them, just be open to them in whatever form they show up and if you get one, that is all you need, take it!
That day was a great day in practicing and really feeling and understanding what it means to surrender. Surrender doesn’t mean being passive by any stretch. It means understating that we alone can not control outcomes. That there are forces at work greater than us that determine that.
I’m learning that the more I want something, and continue to ask for it I am actually pushing it away because I’m fixating on a singular outcome that I’ve determined to be the best. That isn’t co-creation. I’m learning that maybe when I don’t get what I ask for it is because there is something even better on the way, or maybe getting what I want limits other opportunities. I’ve learned that most of these things are only realized in hindsight; that’s where trust comes in. I’ve learned that life is about combining free-will and having faith (co-creation); we have to work and do our part, faith alone isn’t enough. I am learning that when I surrender and detach from an outcome I am opening myself up to perhaps a better outcome than I can imagine. I am learning that no matter how strong a persons will, tenacity, drive, talent, resources, etcetera is, there is still that component that we cannot control that either helps us or defeats us in getting us where we want to go.
image credit: http://www.newtopwallpapers.com