I had an interesting dream the other night.  It was brief, but very deep.  I dreamt of an old friend.  You know, one of those friends that will probably always weave their way in and out of your life, but you don’t have a close friendship with anymore?  Anyway, that was the kind of friend I dreamt of.

In my dream, she pulled up in a small convertible car with the top down.  She had a big smile on her face and she was all made up.  Her make-up was beautiful and what I noticed right away was her lips.  She was wearing wine colored lipstick. I was standing on the sidewalk as she pulled up and I exclaimed, “You look so pretty!”.  My first thought was yes, she looked very pretty but it was unusual for her to be so made up and especially wearing lipstick.  Regardless, she did look pretty and I wanted to compliment her.  She said, “Thank you!”  with a smile, but her look immediately shifted.  And here is where it got deep…

After the compliment, her eyes began to plead with me.  Our eyes locked in an intense exchange.  She said so much in her  gaze, of almost despair, that I understood everything she was conveying to me without words being expressed.  Her eyes seemed to say…

“But you do really see me, don’t you?  You haven’t given up on me, have you?  I know you see me, I wish you didn’t, but I am glad you do.  I’ve shut you out.  Don’t give up on me.”  My response, also without words was, “I do see you, I know you wish I didn’t, so I will only acknowledge what you wish to reveal.  It is up to you to open that door.  When you do, I’ll be here.”

And then I woke up.  That dream has really stuck with me.  I know it is about vulnerability and authenticity and all of that and though I am still unpacking the meaning of it, I think the message is that not everybody is comfortable in revealing their truth. But deep down they wish they could and certain people remind them that they are not. That their guard is high, maybe too high.  The convertible gives the appearance of being open, but the makeup hides who she really is.  Anyway, Just thinking/processing out loud…

Your Truly,

Brandi Helligso

image: https://dotgraphics20.wordpress.com/