Why do I blog?  Truth be told – because what I really set out to do five years ago hasn’t come to pass.  It’s okay though, because I’ve learned so much along the way about myself and life in general and I’ve come out the wiser for it.  I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything and I know this is where I am meant to be for now.  I blog because I want to be known for who I really am, not what people perceive me to be, or what they expect me to be.  I blog because I want my inside to match my outside; for integration; to stay connected to my spirit.  But even more than that, I want others to connect to who they really are too; to find their true self, to show who they really are, to connect to their spirit.  And the best way I know how to do that is to lead by example.  I certainly do not have all the answers, but I do know where to look.  What I set out to do five years ago was to create a television series titled, Destination Enlightenment.  Follows is my story of that pursuit and how I came to create this blog.

My passion is in communicating the things I am curious about and what I learn through my exploration. It is part of my purpose and why I am here blogging.  I am fascinated by the mystery of life and the unseen forces that guide it.   I am a spiritual person and I believe we are here to evolve as soul.  What I find intriguing are all of the people, places, practices, and healing modalities that can help us connect with that inner knowing that ultimately helps us live a more integrated, fulfilling life.

So I set out to create a television show; a travel/docu-reality series titled: Destination Enlightenment.  My goal was to take the viewer into the retreats, workshops, practices, and destinations that would assist myself and the viewers in connecting with their spirit.  I wanted to show people that you can live a ‘normal’ material life and incorporate spirituality without being to woo-woo.  I wanted to make spirituality, as broad as that is, a bit more mainstream.

Initially, when I was younger I wanted to be a television newscaster.  I suppose I was drawn to the platform of television for the audience it could reach, but when I really thought about taking that path it didn’t feel right; a great platform yes, but for what? And since I’m being honest here, it was also mainly for fear that I may have to compromise my integrity to get a story, or that it would be too competitive and I would get eaten alive, or that sometimes news just seemed to be too sensationalized.  So I went another direction, until five years ago, when the old dream resurfaced in a new way.  It had been materializing for quite some time, but I didn’t know where to begin.  I wanted to share what I was passionate about and I was frustrated that people seemed to be disconnected from their spirit; their authentic selves, just going through the motions.  But, I had no connections, my concept wasn’t quite clear yet,  I lived in a small town, etc., etc…

My call to action was when Oprah was launching her new network.   In May of 2010, the OWN network held a casting call for a reality show.   It was only by chance that I even saw the advertisement for the call. They were looking for hopefuls to compete in a reality show.  The winner would get their own talk show on the OWN network. I was stopped in my tracks, I knew this was it.  I had to put myself out there.   I was petrified because part of the audition was getting votes through Facebook.  This spiritual curiosity was always an aspect of my personality I kept to myself so to have to publicize it and get support required massive courage.  But, I knew the alternative – if I didn’t do this I would have to live with the regret of wondering, “What if?” for the rest of my life.  It turned out to be the most liberating thing I ever did.   People were surprised about that aspect of me and I was able to connect with many on a deeper level that I otherwise would not have.  That audition freed me. It opened me up to live a truer expression of myself.  You can view my audition video here:

I didn’t let on to most people how seriously I took this pursuit because I knew it was viewed as a long shot, a pipe dream, a pie in the sky goal, but it was more to me than that.  I felt alive and charged with energy while pursuing the dream.  I was more inspired and engaged  than I had ever been.  I’d had never felt that kind of passion about anything before.  Even as I was facing rejection, wasn’t understood or taken seriously – I DIDN’T CARE!

The audition did not get the attention of producers.  However, even if it would have, the timing would not have allowed me to pursue it further. As the casting call was coming to a close, I found out that my dad had terminal brain cancer.  He passed away six months and one week after the tumor was removed.  My sisters and I were with him constantly, always in a rotating shift.  He was never alone.   And then, I worked extensively on his estate for two years after his passing.  I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  It was my duty and I was honored to do it.

While I was working on my dad’s estate I still pursued the dream.  In 2011-2012 I wrote a treatment for my series, got it copyrighted and registered and tried to get the attention of producers. I was part of an online group for writers to connect with producers.  Plenty of production companies reviewed, but no takers.  I felt like I was hitting a brick wall and because I am in tune with the ‘flow’ of my life, I felt that the pursuit was over.  I was sincerely sad and confused.  I felt really angry too.  I questioned, “What was this all for?”  “How could I be so naïve to think that this dream was actually possible?”  “Why would God give me such passion about something and then make me suffer for it?”  It felt like a cruel joke.  But mostly, I was left with a profound sadness.  I was letting go of the dream and it hurt, I mourned.

I was in a funk and after a few days my husband, Ryan, noticed.  I didn’t think he would understand, but I told him the truth and I couldn’t help but shed a few tears.  I felt like an idiot.  I thought for sure he would say something like, “It’ll be okay, you’ll move on.  We have a great life and many people love you…” yada, yada, yada.  But he didn’t.  I could tell he understood that this was something deeper for me and he encouraged me to start a blog.  I fell in love with him all over again in that moment.  I had thought about blogging before but had my reasons (excuses) for not doing it.  First, I felt I was more of a conversationalist, not a skilled writer.  I tend to think faster than I can write and I didn’t trust that I could convey what I was feeling into writing;  that my writing couldn’t convey the essence of what I needed to say;  that I would edit repeatedly.  And mostly, just the idea of setting up a website was so daunting I didn’t pursue it, but the seed was planted.

After that bit of encouragement I had received from Ryan, I came out of my funk and the ‘flow’ began again. Through a series of synchronicities, I was inspired to reach out to a particular producer that I thought would understand and be interested in the DE concept for a television series.  The producer responded to me very briefly and basically said that nobody would bother with a treatment unless I had a demo reel (or a sizzle reel as it is referred to) to accompany it. So I enlisted the help of my sister Brittany and in August of 2013 we shot a demo reel on my iPhone!  You can view it here:

That particular producer wasn’t interested, but that was okay because I was back on the trail.  I reached out to many producers and once again I came up short.   I got feedback from everyone and everywhere I reached out to, mostly kind, but usually the feedback included something along the lines of, “This isn’t what mainstream television is after at this time.”   I finally came to the conclusion that perhaps this wasn’t meant to be.  That I would gladly act on any inspiration or guidance from the powers that be if this was what I was supposed to be doing.  So I let it go, the big idea of a television series anyway, not the desire to communicate and share said topics.   But this time around it wasn’t so painful.  I was more in acceptance of God’s will.  But it wasn’t over yet…

Through another series of synchronicities, I met an entertainment attorney in 2014 who totally got me.  She understood my concept and believed in it and me.  It was so validating!  And no, I didn’t have to pay her for that validation! She pursued a major network on my behalf, but was told they already had similar programming (which it totally is not similar!).  Anyway, it’s been pretty quite since then.  We’re keeping our eyes and ears open, but I am at peace with it either way.  This journey has taught me more about myself than any other experience I could have had.  I have more trust in knowing that things are exactly as they should be at this very moment than I ever have before.  So here I am blogging and loving it!

To be honest though, this is the nutshell version of my journey.  There have been many other influential, encouraging, supportive people that have come into my life as a result of pursuing my dream, but I’ll save them for another story.

For now I am blogging for personal reasons: connection with others and getting ideas out of my head and onto paper.  And – truth be told – I want to be seen and heard.  I want other’s to know who I really am, what makes me tick.  Perhaps, it is the interviewer/reporter in me, but I often find myself so intrigued by the stories of others that I find little time to reciprocate.  So if anybody is interested, they can find me here 🙂

You can read, The DE Guide: An Introduction to see the topics I will discuss.  I am interested in connecting with like-minded folks, curious seekers, and anybody looking for good conversation.

Yours Truly,

~Brandi

Category: Truth Be ToldTags: , , , , , , , , ,

64 Comments on “Truth Be Told: Why I Blog”

  1. wow, I can see we have a lot in common. I love to analyze. have you taken the personality test “Strength finder? GREAT POST hope we can become blogging buddies.

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  2. Thanks for sharing! It is funny how we start off doing one thing and end up with something better! It is nice to meet people and hear about their journey and how they got where they are! I love to hear those stories.

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  3. Sometimes when we look back at our journey, we are left amazed. The distance that we’ve traveled, the odds we’ve overcome…they all make us wonder whether we’d even have started our journey if we had seen it all before.

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      • I think we do choose the path that we, given our past-experiences, think to be the easiest. It’s only that more often than not, it doesn’t turn out to be what we had expected 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I have the same dream of guiding people to develop and fulfill their potential. On TV shows, I remember that Mike Wolfe of “American Pickers” had spent up to nine years trying to have a network pick up the idea. Maybe your show will be a reality or not. You seemed to have developed a healthy dose of detachment. That’s a good trait to have.

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  5. Thanks for sharing your awesome journey. Yes, sometimes our dreams don’t work out the way we expect them to. But in restrospect, there are hidden blessings in a difficult path.
    Do you need your own show? Or would you do a contribution to an existing youtube channel? I am thinking of something like conscious.tv here (Ian McNay). Or you make your own youtube channel. With so much passion and determintation, you are bound to be out there, I guess.
    Best wishes for your journey,
    Karin

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    • No, as matter of fact I think being a contributor or correspondent would be great. I haven’t really sought out much on the internet as I live rural and have poor internet connection so that hasn’t been an area I’ve explored. Perhaps, in the future as resources and time allows I will post YouTube videos for my upcoming classroom posts.

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      • I just looked at this post again. The first video shows that you are really comfortable in front of the camera. You come across as very passionate and lively. An own youtube channel,would be a good thing.
        I could not watch the second video. This is blocked in Germany , probably because of music license issues.

        You don’t need to,wait for the mainstream media to make up their minds. If your program appeals to mainstream minds, then you will soon have many followers. The TV of today is youtube.

        I like the idea of making the connection tangible between the visible and the invisible world. I have no clue about astrology and cannot make that connection, but it always amazes me how my state of mind influences the outcome of situations. How a wish initiates a synchronicity. How inner peace resolves a situation. How a burning question invites an answer from the universe.

        I am looking forward to your next videos, hopefully without music license issues.

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      • Thank you Karen. I do not know when I will do video, but I will act if inspiration strikes. The second video is more a produced piece over just talking I to the camera like the first one. I used a song, but here in the U.S. They just add the proper info and links to purchase the music. Good to know though for the future. Thanks for your kind words.

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  6. Brandi I am so grateful that you have found your voice and that I am able to follow you as you explore these topics. I have to agree with Karin. Have you thought about it? Or part vlog/video here on your posts? When you start speaking, you begin by relaying the information very matter of factly (I hope that makes sense) but there is a moment when your passion takes over. I find myself scrunching closer to the screen, smiling, eager to absorb the energy in your words. It’s infectious.

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    • That was one of the best compliments. Thank you for that. I consider myself a pragmatic dreamer so your compliment is perfect! At some point as time allows, I would love to do video segments for my classroom posts. We’ll see, I’ll have to feel that one out.

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      • Wish you luck on how this all develops for you. There are several things you mentioned that intrigue me and I’ll be sure to follow your path, no matter what vehicle you choose to get us to the destination ☺

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Please continue to pursue your dream. You are serving up what is so needed in the world right now. More and more people are “getting” it. Best to you!

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  12. Brandi,
    Thanks for sharing your inner journey and your outward steps towards your dream- your goal. As an outsider, I can see you are reaching your objectives and as a research methodologist, I can see from afar that these objectives are taking you steps closer to your goal. When you reach your goal, you might find that it is slightly different from what you perceived or wished or hoped and at that time, you will find that it is ok- in fact, it is better than what you wanted. Somewhere along the way, you may feel that you are compromising on what you initially wanted, but as I am still learning about that, I can’t give you any insights into that.
    All in all, I find your writing honest and I find that honesty always pays.
    So God bless and wishing you all the luck forward.
    Susie

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  13. Wow Thanks for sharing!! I had different experiences in the media in the past but usually when you less expect it, the bunny jumps from unexpected places, so be ready all the time. Thank you once more!

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  14. I Read your post and it reminded me about Ina Garten..The Barefoot Contessa, a cooking show, if I remember correctly, she went to the American food networks and tried to sell her show idea… They all wanted to change the format and she was dead set against it, she wanted to tell a story from her home and have her friends and husband in different episodes…. So she went to the British TV companies…. Well low and behold they loved the idea….and after the food network caught wind… They hot her back on hert terms. Have you tried another country?? Just a thought…. I like the idea you have. .I would watch…and then there’s Create another good network.. Hope you don’t mind my suggestions…. It’s just me thinking out loud…. Nameste

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  15. Visited via Dream Big, Dream Often. I must admit I feel a little silly when I state that the reason I have blogged for the last five and a half years is simply “to amuse myself and if anyone else enjoys reading it, all the better”. I will follow your journey from the East Coast….Cheers.

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  20. Wow! Has this been on your blog all along and I missed this page?!

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  21. I love your passion for getting your ideas out there to a larger audience. When all those producers said your ideas aren’t what the mainstream is after, maybe it’s a sign that you’re not meant for the mainstream, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After I was done with grad school, I started beating myself up for feeling stuck and for not wanting to follow the traditional path like all my classmates did. A friend reminded me that I’m meant for something very different. I’d say most of us initially suffer when our dreams and plans don’t come to fruition, but as time goes on, we can see how it all worked out for the best because it was preparing us for something unexpected. I look forward to seeing where your journey will take you. Thanks for joining the blogosphere and sharing your story with us 🙂

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    • I can appreciate that! I’ve come far along now that I am able to let go of an expected outcome. Though, I do question he mainstream piece. Why would I have been placed right smack in hte middle of the mainstream! If you knew me and my lifestyle you’d assume I was totally mainstream. I feel that I am relate-able in that way. I think I have a knack at inserting non-mainstream conversation and ideas into my social settings. So who knows, maybe I’m meant for mainstream they just don’t know it yet! Or not…;-) Either way, hindsight will bring clarity. I am totally open for whatever comes my way as I know whatever will be is meant for me!

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  22. Never give up on a dream…. and as you see, it may just unfold in a different way than you thought. It has happened to me in the past. Sometimes we just can’t imagine the amazing way Spirit works 🙂
    Love that bridge-image, by the way.

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  23. Pingback: Sunshine Blogger Award | Destination Enlightenment

  24. Thanks for stopping by my blog and following……I am on a similar journey and just stepped out of my “comfort zone” (er, full time stable job) to pursue my own dream……I look forward to getting to know you better 🙂

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  25. Brandi- I followed your FB post to your blog and read several of your articles and watched your videos. AMAZING! I never knew of this path that you have been on. I too am a seeker of knowledge, insight, truth, and understanding. In 2011-2012 I read 120 Psychology/Quantum Physics\ Brain Reaearch type books! We should have taken our short conversations to a deeper level! I wish you so much success. You are beautiful, well spoken and passionate. Keep going forward and I am sure good things will come to you!

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  26. This post really held my attention. I can really relate to the inner workings of seeking one’s dream and holding faithful to that dream. I wonder if Karin is right about You tube being the future of TV? I see we share a similar life approach and I look forward to learning more about you!

    Namaste, Linda

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  27. Pingback: Again nominated for the same award | From guestwriters

  28. “Initially, when I was younger I wanted to be a television newscaster.”

    A HA!

    I would guess you WERE a reporter in one of your past lives and the drive to do it now is so strong because it is 100% natural for you (you have a whole past life of experience!). I would bet that we knew each other in one capacity or another in that past life, you tend to run into the same people you knew before…

    I agree with the comments above that YouTube may be your way to break into this industry. If you can prove to a producer that you come with a loyal following of watchers that would help sell you. (Blog audience is also helpful, but they are probably looking for the next YouTube star to promote?)

    Liked by 1 person

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    • I agree about running into the same people from past lives;)

      I haven’t felt inspired to create YouTube content as of yet, but that doesn’t mean I won’t at some point! And should inspiration strike, I will be all over it:)

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Brandi Helligso

Destination Enlightenment Blogger

info@destinationenlightenment.com

Brandi created Destination Enlightenment as a platform for authentic self-expression on matters of the heart, mind, body and spirit. Brandi received her B.S. Degree in Speech Communication from Oregon State University. Currently, she runs a construction business with her husband Ryan on the Oregon coast where they reside with their two children and black Labrador Retriever. Click the About tab to learn more about Destination Enlightenment.

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